Marvel vs Capcom: The fighter that got away

One of my favorite arcade games to whoop ass and prove superiority at was Marvel vs Capcom,  which had to be played every time a cabinet was spotted. I remember my favorite team was Mega Man and Morrigan, and many a good day was spent sending my friends away, their pride slightly hurt. Oh well. Anyways, what's bothered me is the fact that the first, Origins excluded, have all but faded into obscurity, given you'd have to download an emulator (good luck finding one that works. Looking at you, MAME) or seriously finding a dreamcast for a perfect arcade port of the first 2.

Why is it that it is so hard to have a comfortable experience playing such a good game? You have it all: Capcom, 90's gaming juggernaut (ha!) and Marvel, who along with DC, were the premiere comics of the day. If all this is available to you in a perfectly packaged, colorful, fun fighting game, why HASNT it seen more recent releases?? It had tight controls, really pretty sprites, and satisfying gameplay, and a decent amount of characters. What's not to like?

I remember the games didnt have a concrete story exactly....something about Professor Xavier combining with Magneto to form a super villain...? (Like, why would he ever....) and in another game, M. Bison teamed up with Magneto. One thing that I do remember is that certain characters have neat interactions, like pictured above, when Mega Man and company join the Nova Corps, or Wolverine tracking down Akuma to find out information about his past. All in all, id have preferred an overarching story with these neat tidbits, but we aren't given a whole lot. Also, technically, Strider Hiryu is statistically the beat fighter there.....check out the death battle featuring him, where he fights Ryu from Ninja Gaiden. Seriously, the guy is nearly unstoppable

The Protomen: A true example of excellent fan service

I'm back, though I wont be as frequent as usual. I've been slammed with ridiculous work hours. Anyways, thats none of your business. I'll be doing a quick post on a band I recently picked back up, The Protomen, who do an amazing thing for this world. They've somehow made Mega Man even MORE awesome, and turned a reworking of the story into a phenomenal and emotional rock opera.

The first album, simply entitled The Protomen, tells the story of a distopian future in which Dr. Wily uses his robots (the six from the first game) to rule the city with an iron fist. Dr. Light, alone and a broken man, builds Proto Man in the hopes that he will bring down Wily's tyrannical rule. Proto Man, despite getting close, does not succeed, and is destroyed by the robot masters. To add fuel to the fire, the residents gather to watch Proto Man fall, as its explained, "they don't want a hero, they want a martyr, another statue to raise". Dr. Light then builds Mega Man, not to fight, but to assist him. Against his wishes, Mega Man takes to destroying Wily's army to avenge his fallen brother. Its emotional, its dramatic, its bleak and most certainly a nice, neatly woven tale. It's like Mega Man meets 1984.

The second album, Father of Death, serves as a prequel, detailing Dr. Wilys corruption, the death of Dr. Light's love, Emily, and the establishment of Wily's empire. All in all, its still a great album, albiet much lighter of a sound than the album before it, which had a very dark, grungy "dirty" sound to it. If you like Mega Man, or the novel 1984, or both, then definitely give them a listen. They weave a gripping story seamlessly with catchy music, and is something I would most certainly see in concert.

NECA NES figures

I've recently become aware of these figures made by powerhouse NECA, who always holds a place in my mind as a great toy producer regardless. For this line, they take some prominent figures from classic NES titles (that weren't Mario or Link, we're talking those sweet, sweet licensed characters) and simply recolored the figures to more closely resemble their in-game NES counterparts. You know what that means: bright, garish colors, oh yeah!

These prominently colorful figures are Batman, the purple crusader (pictured above), Robocop and Predator the "blue" brothers, "Thermal vision" Arnold Schwarzenegger, Freddy Krueger the red and caramel wonder, and Jason Voorhees, the blue and seafoam green.....other wonder. These figures are amazingly multicolored, and really DO look like they hopped out of their respective NES games. My personal favorites are Batman and Freddy, mostly because they are the most brightly colored, aside from Arnie. Every one of them looks highly detailed and come with nice accessories (Freddy's is kind of just attached to him anyways).

Before I start, I must say that looking at them standing next to each other looks like they just wandered off the set of a Double Dragon movie. They look like an absolute blast, to pose or to play with. Every one of those figures would look magnificent on a shelf, and you can bet your bottom I will definitely pick at least one up. For some reason it seems, with the exception of Freddy, several figures seem to carry a dark blue, such as Jason, Robocop, and Predator (Batman only has a bit of lighter blue, but is mostly purple). Either way, they are all amazingly detailed, amazingly poseable, and worth a look if you have the cash. I'd wall jump for any of these bad boys.

                         
                              FOR 8-BIT GOTHAAAAAAAAAAM!

Mega Man 2 vs. Mega Man 3

Another of my many obsessions is the Mega Man classic series. Being a fan, every now and again searching the internet for fan communities, have come across a fierce debate that seems to defy fans worldwide. That debate would be Mega Man 2 vs. Mega Man 3. Both are NES classics, no doubt, but which truly deserves the most admiration of the fans? To determine that, we'll be seperating it into a few categories to find out who has the edge. Those categories will be: Difficulty, Level Design, Boss Design, Character introduction and Weapons.

Difficulty: Mega Man 2

Mega Man 2 was of the age where difficulty was there, and man was it tough, but it wasn't impossible. It made you really work for it, and your success hinged entirely on how bad you wanted it. When you finally did win, it served as a positive reinforcement loop. You wanted to keep going. Mega Man 3, however, didn't have that. It didn't let you choose between normal or difficult. It wasn't nearly as hard as 2, meaning it felt more like a breeze. You plowed through the game like it was nothing, and it wasn't enough of a challenge to want you to keep going. Japan must've figured American kiddies were too impatient.

Character Introduction: Mega Man 3

While 2 had some interesting enemies, 3 ultimately wins in the category of introducing new and exciting characters. They introduced Proto Man, a highly interesting and mysterious character that kept you guessing, and Rush, Mega Man's faithful dog sidekick that proved very useful. Both felt like welcome additions to the series and added a fuller cast to the game. Mega Man 2 felt bare in comparison to the cast of colorful supporting characters in 3.

Boss Design: Mega Man 2

Mega Man 2 far and above has more memorable bosses than 3. Yes, also rather silly (Wood Man), but there was just something about the ensemble of Mega Man 2s bosses that felt fresh, varied, interesting and quite intimidating. The likes of Quick Man, Metal Man and Crash Man remain in my mind as some of the coolest bosses in all of video games. 3, on the other hand, delved even further into ridiculousness with bosses such as Top Man, Snake Man and...sigh....Hard Man. Those bosses didn't feel as conpelling, not nearly as interesting, and never stuck in my memory. They were kind of...there. They felt more like a nuisance than anything.

Level Design: Tie


This one is so hard to nitpick at, I can't help but simply tie them. The level design in both are just so masterfully crafted that its truly a shining example of how side scrollers SHOULD be designed. They are creative, challenging and force you to think a little, and all that shines through. So in this category, both games have outstanding level design, so they tie.

Weapon Design: Mega Man 2

YES, I REALIZE THE METAL BLADE IS BROKEN. But, it's not as effective as you've been led to believe. Out of every robot master in 2 only Metal Man, Flash Man, Wood Man and Bubble Man are weak against it. Only half!! Every other robot master is immune. That aside, 2 had better balance of its weapons, as every one of them was extremely important and useful throughout the entire game. In 3, you just had to rely on three: Hard Knuckle, Shadow Blade and Top Spin (which sucked regardless.) Every other one in 3 was either too unweildy to be practical (Gemini Laser) or was just plain useless (Search Snake). In 2, you were left no choice but to utilize every weapon in your arsenal.


WINNER: Mega Man 2.

It was close, but yes, the hype is true. Mega Man 2 is truly the superior game. 3 has its perks, but is ultimately bland compared to the masterpiece that is 2. The bosses, weapons, difficulty and everything else in 2 were all perfectly fine tuned to give a great, memorable gameplay experience, and excels in areas where 3 fell flat on its face. So there you have it.

Quick Fire Review: Batman: Assault on Arkham

Relatively short post. Just going tobmake a short review of the newest DCAU film, Batman: Assault on Arkham. Picked up the Blu Ray, and honestly, very glad I did.

The movie focuses around the ragtag team of Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Killer Frost, Captain Boomerang, Black Spider and King Shark, otherwise known as "The Suicide Squad" breaking into Arkham at the request of Amanda Waller in order to take out Riddler (who stole Wallers highly important files). A very risky and high stakes mission, especially when Batman is on your trail and The Joker is running amok. Just a warning, I will be dropping LOTS of spoilers. So if you want to watch it and haven't yet, LEAVE THIS REVIEW IMMEDIATELY!!! It's a very well put together film, as the narrative is tight, it's action packed to the brim and the banter between the Suicide Squad is an absolute joy to watch. King Shark is the loveable idiot, Deadshot is the straight laced team leader, Killer Frost and Captain Boomerang crack wise frequently (in Frosts case, of the sarcastic variey), Black Spider is the most serious and reserved of the team, and Harley is well......Harley. It plays out very much like a Guy Ritchie movie, what with the hiests and all, and I like it alot. Its highly clever and keeps you on the edge of the seat, and never once was it boring. The fights are heart-pounding and very well coreographed, and the voice acting is top notch. Also, when they said "Suicide Squad", they were not kidding. This is a very very violent movie, with multiple death's of several protagonists. A pivotal point of the film is that Amanda Waller placed exploding chips in their necks and if they disobey her orders, boom. Dead. KGBeast, another villain who's barely seen, gets his own damn head blown of like, right at the start of the film, because he tested Amanda Waller. Toward the end of the movie, the same fate befalls both Black Spider and King Shark. Y'see, The Riddler (working with the Suicide Squad, and in return he keeps his life) sends volts of electricity through their heads in an attempt to fry the bombs in their necks. It works on most....except King Shark and Black Spider. King Shark's skin was too thick, apparently, so when Amanda Waller got pissed that she was being double crossed and hit the big red button, everyone else remained in tact and King Shark went boom. Black Spider wasn't even with them, as he was on the recieving end of a beating from Batman (who cleverly tricked the Suicide Squad by wearing Black Spider's costume) so when Waller hit the button he went boom too. Quite graphically. The Joker is just as diabolically funny as ever, and he frees Arkhams inmates (Bane and Poison Ivy wreck alot of stuff). He gets in a brutal fight with Deadshot (who was Harleys "new guy") leading to his "death". Psssst he's not dead. Killer Frost bites it (Ha! Frost Bite!!) when Bane throws the car she's attempting to escape in into the side of a rocky cliff. Ouch. Seriously, the only three Suicide Squad members that survive are Deadshot, Captain Boomerang and Harley. Hell, even Amanda Waller buys the farm in a hilarious twist when Deadshot snipes her (and cleverly says "bang"). Thats not counting the countless guards, police and prisoners that all go to that great national park in the sky. Yep, totally a Guy Ritchie movie.

All in all, a REALLY good movie that explains why a majority of these characters don't show up in later Arkham games, and this movie ties together quite nicely the events in between Origins and Asylum, leaving us with yet another incredible Arkham-related entry that better fleshes out the ever popular "Arkham-verse". Well worth a buy. Really. Go get it. Now, or I'll detonate the explosive in your necks.

Just some other game talking whatever review: Wario Land

Alright,  let's talk Wario Land. That's right, Wario. Don't like him? Get out. Anybut, we'll be looking at the very first installment, Super Mario Land 3: Wario Land. Funny, considering Mario is barely seen in the game nor is he the protagonist.

Wario first debuted as the villain in 1992's Super Mario Land 2: The Six Golden Coins, where he stole Marios castle while he was out. The big galoot was so loveable, that two years later, he git his own game! Super Mario Land 3: Wario Land was the first in a successful series that spanned several games and a decade or two. We'll talk about those games later, but today we'll focus on the very first.

Wario Land was a special kind of game. It wasn't about mega villains or princesses or saving a kingdom. It let is break into our wild sides, as THIS game was all about looting treasure. Not often that a game allows us to win by being greedy, but that is exactly what Wario Land did. It turned the table on us, telling us that in this game, the only objective was to become filthy stinkin' rich. Who needs things like love and admiration, amiright??? It was devilishly fun, and you just couldn't help but love the goofy Wario. So fun to spawn multiple sequels, in fact.

The controla and game aspect was pretty similar to the Mario format in that you got power ups from blocks, but in Warios case he got special hats that allowed him to perform special abilities, like ground pound or shoot flames. Enemies were in abundance, and, also sticking true to the Mario format, would shrink you in size if hit by them. In later games, Wario would become invincible, with enemies being only a minor nuisance.  This game, while decidely somewhat primitive compared to its sequels, is loads of fun with original level design and a fun concept. Its also rather funny in that "Wario is an unfortunate sap" kind of way, but well worth a shot if these kind of games are your thing.


Grade: B+ (As in, "Bodacious. There, I said it.)

Fantasy Rumble: Top 5 Fictional Fights I'd pay to see

Anyone who is a fan of fiction is sure to come across the "who would win a match up" scenario, and while it's a fun discussion, it's usually one that ends in bitter disagreement and heated arguments over who would win. I know mine have. That aside, let's take a look at some of the matchups that I wish would happen. Keep in mind, these are my opinions, again MY opinions, if you do not agree that's fine, you don't have to. Heck, feel free to even call me on it but still.

5. Azrael vs The Red Hood

Both are former protégés of Batman's,  and both disregard the rules. Azrael took over as Batman while Bruce Wayne was still in recovery after his first encounter with Bane. The Red Hood, or Jason Todd as he is also known, was the second Robin who is brash, arrogant and jumps into any situation without prior thought. He originally met his demise at the hands of the Joker, as I've discussed before, but was brought back 15 years later as the villain known as Red Hood. This one is interesting because of the shared history. Both are former allies that Batman thought he could trust, but both ended up going off the rails. Both are very well equipped with an arsenal of weapons and I would wager that both are pretty darn smart...so who would win?

Winner: Azrael- While Jason was smart and most certainly ruthless, he's no match for Azrael. He has less formal training, and why he is a prolific fighter, Azrael is decked out with a suit of armor that can pierce almost any defense. He defeated BANE single handedly if that is any indication. Also, both may be brash and hot headed, but Jason reaches that point faster than Azrael. Jason's weapon arsenal might be vast, but its no match for the likes of Azraels flame thrower, projectile batarangs, and even a searchlight capable of blinding his opponent. It may be close, but ol' Azbat has the drop on Jason.

4. Piccolo vs. The Martian Manhunter

The ultimate green supporting character throwdown!! To make it short, Piccolo used to be Goku's rival in the original Dragon Ball anime before becoming one of his strongest allies in Z. Martian Manhunter on the other hand, has a very similar story. Originally an outsider from Mars, he is found by the Justice League and shown to have incredible powers. He eventually becomes a member and one of the strongest assets. So who wins?

Winner: Piccolo- I can feel the hateful messages coming from this one already. Sure,  Martian Manhunter's moves are impressive and more than capable of wiping out any opponent if given the chance. Grant Morrisons JLA run even hinted that he might be more powerful than Superman at some point, as all of his powers have yet to be revealed. However, let's take into account the fact that Piccolo also has some tricks up his sleeve. First off it should be pretty evident that MM is stronger physically than Piccolo, granted Piccolo is probably faster. Both can stretch their limbs to unbelievable lengths, so it could be possible that this fight is going to have some distance to it. One of Martian Manhunter's biggest assets is the fact that he can completely tamper with someone's mind. However,  keep in mind that Piccolo is not one, but THREE people combined. He is himself, Nail, AND Kami. Piccolo's training is also insane. He, along with the other Z fighters, have possibly mastered most known martial arts. That being said, given his experience and his mental fortitude, Piccolo ultimately takes this fight, leaving the Manhunter in Mars' red dust.

3. Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner) vs. The Silver Surfer

Ohh. Tough one, honestly. I may not even come to a verdict on this one. One one hand, Kyle Rayner is the most powerful of the Lantern Corps, but....Silver Surfer....I'll come back to this one. I'm running out of time to do this thing.

2. Lobo vs. Wolverine

Again, I can hear the fanboy rage. Lobo is an interdimensional bounty hunter who has an affinity for space dolphins and Wolverine is a nigh indestructible X-Man with metal claws and a bad attitude. Both are known to be super strong, very gritty, and have a penchant for foul language. This fight won't finish easy, not even close.

Winner: Lobo- scream at me all you want, Lobo has this match hands down. Let me put it to ya this way, "bub": Wolverine may be nearly unkillable and yadda yadda yadda, but so is Lobo. Like any good anti-hero, the guy can take explosions, gun blasts, impalements, any of that. (Mostly in part because he was originally intended as a parody OF Wolverine). Lobo single-handedly destroyed planets, all before he ever came to Earth. And when he did? He easily held his own against Superman. Sorry, I don't care how strong your bones are, if the man youre facing is comperable in strength to Superman, you're toast. Sorry Wolvie.

1. He-Man vs. Superman

Ah yes, the match-up of all match-ups. Two of fictions most superpowered beings, duking it out, monumental blow after monumental blow. Superman, came to Earth, found by the Kents became a superhero, ungodly strong. Everyone knows that. He-Man, alter-ego of Prince Adam (of the House of Randor, mind you) protector of Eternia, ungodly strong. Pretty similar stories. The unintelligent answer would be Superman (not to say he WONT win, but to be fair he has been associated with being a completely OP and unfair character) but, what do I think??

Winner: He-Man- Oh yes, Prince Adam for the win. Why? Let's look at the facts. Firstly, watch the episode of Death Battle "He-Man vs. Lion-O". There you can get a good estimation of his strength (well into the million-fold). "But Superman can move planets!" I hear you whine. Keep in mind He-Man is entirely composed of magic, at his very core. Magic just so happens to be a weakness of Superman's. "Supermans faster than him!" I hear you whine. I have to agree AND disagree. DC has proven that Superman is faster once he has MOMENTUM. Sure, his regular movemens can be faster than a normal humans, but He-Man is no ordinary human. Superman has to build speed to become the lightyear traveling dingus he is. Meaning, his regular movements aren't nearly as fast. Is He-Man faster in a split-second?  Well, if Batman is faster than Superman in a split second (as proven be The Dark Knight Returns) then why not He-Man?  So we've already shown He-Man has the edge in speed and is at least on a level playing field in terms of power, so where does that leave us? With more proof. He-Man HAS officialy fought Supes before, in 1984. Look at that year. It's pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths (an event that toned Superman's powers down considerably). He's fighting Pre-Crisis Superman, or silver age Superman, who could blow away galaxies with a breath. Yeah. And he held his own, no problem. Sorry Supes, if Prince Adam can fend off Mega Ultra Super Omega Overpowered Superman, he should have no problem with the modern day one.

Into the Abyss: Top 10 Most Shocking Fictional Deaths (I never got over)

The deaths of our favorite fictional characters never come easy, but they hurt that much more when they are unexpected. So, I'll be discussing the top 10 character deaths in any medium of fiction that had me screaming up at the cloudy sky and breaking out my tub of ice cream.

10. Optimus Prime (1986)

While Optimus' final moments weren't entirely unexpected, it was his final speech to the other autobots and his battered condition that really struck a nerve. Here he was, a hero to children across the globe, broken and uttering his final words. Definitely a sincere moment, one of which I'm sure has stuck with many people to this day.

9. Zero (2001)

Yeah yeah, he's been revived more times than Batman, but Zero's death in Mega Man X5 is especially resonating. After an intense battle with series antagonist Sigma, Zero meets his fate, but not before reflecting on his life with his best friend X. The thought of the duo of the X series being torn apart indefinitey was hard to bear. Having to look at the mangled mess of his wires and inner components was especially gut-wrenching.

8. Brockenman (1983)

Known to anime fans as the infamous "camel clutch" match, wrestler Brockenman, Nazi and father of Brocken Jr., was unexpectedly torn completely in HALF by Ramenman. It started as camel clutch, a wrestling move that involves simply pulling your opponent backward by his chin. This went unexpectedly south when Brockenman was seperated from his lower half, without a doubt the most violent scene in the entire manga.

7. The Ninja Turtles (2003)

Now, I know the picture is NOT from the cartoon im about to mention, and I know it was merely a "what if" scenario, but still. In the episode, Donatello wakes up to find himself in an alternate dimension, where Shredder rules the world, all hope was lost, and the turtles hadn't spoken in years. Donny manages to help them team up again and take down both Shredder and his daughter Karai, but not before the turtles (minus Donny) met their fate. To watch that, brothers falling before one another, is truly heart-wrenching. There's even a scene where Raph is enraged over Leo's death.

6. The Joker (1999)

I love the Joker to death (pun totally intended), but c'mon. As shocking as it was you can't say he didn't deserve it. Especially when you consider the events leading up to his death. He kidnaps Robin, breaks him mentally and turns him into a "Joker Jr." After facing an infuriated Batman, this scene actually has an edited and unedited ending. Both end with Robin killing Joker, but the unedited version involves him recieving a rod through the chest via bang gun, while the edited (and more violent version, in my book) features him drenched in water, slipping on cords and live-wiring. Ouch.

5. The Champ (1979)

Okay, no more. I'll make this quick. The Champ is a heartwarming story about a boxer and he dies at the movies end and the kid cries like I'm about to, pleading, "Get up, champ! You gotta get up!" Make it stop.

4. Mufasa (1994)

Another iconic scene from a great movie. The scene in which Simbas father dies is already chaotic, with Simba roaming amongst the wild, snarling masses, afraid and searching for his father, who at this point is dangling precariously from a cliff. What makes this so shocking is double-fold: Scar playing a hand in his death (Long live the king!) and Simba finding his father's body, and coming to the realization that he is dead, and he now must fend for himself.

3. Goku (1992)

This is technically the 2nd of Gokus many deaths, but its shocking in its own right. After Cell is kicked so hard in the stomach that he regurgitates Android 18 (and by extension reverts back to his Semi-Perfect form), he decided the only way out is suicide, so he begins to implode himself. Goku, thinking fast, suddenly grabs Cell and uses Instant Transmission to transport Cell to King Kais planet. There, Cell implodes, taking Goku, King Kai, Bubbles and Gregory with him.

2. Kung Lao (2011)

This scene is from the most recent Mortal Kombat game. During this alternate retelling of the series canon, underestimated underdog Kung Lao gets his chance in the spotlight when he, in front of a crowd of thousands, single-handedly defeats all of Shao Khan's minions. During his short-lived celebration, the Emperor himself cuts it short, sneaking up behind the monk and breaking his neck, in front of his allies no less. The fact that Kung Lao, who waited so long to be able to prove himself to his friends and family, had it brutally cut short by the hands of evil incarnate, is something that had me breathless.

1. Jason Todd (1988)

Perhaps the most infamous comic death of all time, Jason Todd was the second Robin and succesor to Dick Grayson, introduced a mere 6 years before his death in 1988. Initially a well liked character, the 1985 company-wide reboot "Crisis on Infinite Earths" turned him into a snotty, short-sighted brat with anger issues, who often broke the rules and disrespected Batman's authority. He was so disliked, DC comics gave the fans a chance to determine his fate, colesseum style. By a mere 28 votes, Jason Todd was brutally victimized by The Joker (via recieving end of a crowbar) before finally dying when Joker blew up the building he was in, all before Batman could arrive. Todds death gained national attention, and became an event both Batman and his fans would never forget.

New Versions of Old Things: MK Legacy

Short post today, really busy. But we'll take a quick look at yet another Mortal Kombat "reboot", this time in the form of Mortal Kombat Legacy" season 2. Scorpion and Sub-Zero,  to be exact.

These two fought before, in season 1, as pictured above. In case you aren't aware, these two are the most heated of rivals and the poster boys of Mortal Kombat. Back in the heyday of the arcade games, you were weird if you DIDNT pick one of these two, and fans are fiercely divided over who is superior (Sub-Zero, in case you were wondering.) However, what all did this gritty reboot do for these rival ninjas? And possibly G.I. Joe stand-ins?


The right: Unlike other iterations, in Legacy they oh so rightfully chose to make them buddies before they became bitter enemies. They spun a tale of friendship, brotherhood, and understanding, followed by a misunderstanding, deciet, lies, and hatred. It was a story you so wanted to end on a good note, but turned south. It portrayed Scorpion as a wronged man, betrayed by Sub-Zero by having his entire clan (and himself) murdered. It showed Sub-Zero as a sympathetic character, wrongfully accused of murder and heart broken that his former comrade has lost his trust. An operatic tale, and one could compare Scoprion to the likes of Othello.

The wrong: *WARNING: SPOILERS* They killed Sub-Zero. The narrative is now rendered unusable. Why? Because Sub-Zero ISNT supposed to die. Well, yes and no. He dies in series canon, but his brother assumes the role immediately afterward. But in Legacy his brother is dead too. So there is no Sub-Zero. WHAT, WHY?!? Its integral to Mortal Kombat to have him, that's like permanently getting rid of Batman. You just can't do that and expect people to still follow, just like you can't expect any comic company to have continued readership when a power player is killed off. It was stupid. They have gained the ire of the fans. On top of that, costume choices weren't that great this time around (Sub-Zero looks like he's wearing a motocross outfit for God's sake) and Scorpions mask just doesn't quite work well with the costume.

Overall- C+ (As in, "Can you believe they thought people would still like it after that??")

Episode Etiquette: BTAS- Bane

Here we'll be talking about one of my favorite episodes of the seminal Batman: The Animated Series, "Bane". I'll give a quick description and break the episode into segments, so with that let's jump right in.

This episode, dating back to 1994, was one of the lesser known ones but featured a very interesting character, Bane. (Hey, not quite "Heart of Ice" material but he did get his own figure). The producers themselves weren't too fond of Bane as a character, however, and only dedicated one episode to him, unlike Joker, who appeared in nearly every other episode. Nevertheless, this episodes animation is spot-on and well written.

The episode consists of Rupert Thorne, sleazy crime boss, hiring Bane to rid Thorne of Batman forever, feeling Banes superior strength and near equal intellect were more than a match for the Dark Knight. This version of Bane, while entertaining, differs from his comic book counterpart. Rather than an assassin, Bane of the comics was simply an escapee from a ruthless Santa Priscan prison, who's life was dedicated to destroying Batman (which he almost did, as he broke Batman's spine). This Bane is slightly more tame, but after his escape from prison, he went into business as a freelance assassin. He must be a good one at that, as it's specifically mentioned in the episode that his price per job is Fifty. Million. Dollars. Woah.

Bane tracks Batman and Robin through Killer Croc, and as a sign of sheer manliness trashes the batmobile. Batman corners Banes "girlfriend" Candice, where he questions her on Banes whereabouts. She plays coy, until Batman finds that Bane has kidnapped Robin, and plans on fighting Batman to the death at the wharf. Batman arrives to find that Robin, like a stupid idiot, is chained up, about to drown. Before he can rescue his compadre, Bane challenges Batman, and the fight begins.

Bane easily overpowers Batman, until Batman knocks him into the water. Robin, who always gets the easy way out, has a hard time struggling with Candice. Candice escapes, and Batman manages to free Robin. Robin makes it most of the way up the ladder only to be easily nudged back down by a freshly angered Bane. The fight continues, with Batman thinking a little smarter, even using hurricanranas (a wrestling move, in homage to Banes Lucha Libre appearance). However, Bane still knocks him around, and lifts Batman over his head, mirroring the comic, when the very same move nearly crippled Batman. This is a kid's show, after all, so Batman gets the upper hand on Bane by breaking the device that feeds him his super steroid (Venom, as it's known), winning the match.

Batman takes a beaten Bane back to Thorne, rats Candice out, and the episode ends. I only hope we're left to assume Robin lives. Maybe. Overall, really good episode and pays wonderful homage to the comic from which it draws it's source material. The animation is fluid, Banes voice actor is wonderful and its a nice little narrative. I remember, seeing it for the first time in a doctors office lobby, and being completely blown away. If you're a fan of Bane or just Batman in general, do yourself a favor and watch.

Toy Examination: They DID this??

Hello again lovelies, welcome back. This post will only cover one toy, but my is it worth it. So sit back, relax and adjust your spectacles, we're going on a magical mystery, one of rushed products and botched film ideas!

There's something about this product that should set off a bit of a red flag. What's that you say? No, say it louder! Thats exactly right! Robin WASN'T in Batman Returns.  Nor was his ridiculously oversized grapple launcher. What you're looking at is allegedly a screw-up of legendary proportions.

Legend has it that Kenner caught wind of Robin potentially being in Batman Returns, and that the studio had brought in Marlon Wayans (half of the duo behind Major Payne, Scary Movie) to portray him. Kenner jumped the gun, wanting to capitalize on it. However, they did not have any design sketches of the character, unlike Batman, Catwoman and Penguin. So, they simply borrowed Robin's look from the comics. Here's where the urban legend gets a little....extreme. Batman Returns comes to theaters before the toy hits the shelves. Robin was nowhere to be seen, yet Kenner still had oh so many Robin figures somewhat bearing Marlon Wayans likeness! What were they to do? Oh, right. Hastily change Robin's skin color to represent the comic version better and slap an accessory with him. Ouch. Now, this story has yet to be confirmed, but to lend credence to the tale Robin does appear to have a bit of a "box" haircut (as was popular in the 90s) but other than that there's no way to prove it. The story does, however, get a little bit more ridiculous. As in, Kenner didn't stop.

Jet....Foil...they, the toy company who so wrongly assumed this character would be in the movie to begin with...give him a vehicle??? *sigh* oh well. Once the damage is done I suppose following through is the best option. Still, they couldn't have made up a better name than Jet Foil? What does that even mean? I know I've been harsh on this figure and his multitude of accessories but to be fair its actually a really well made toy, and a pretty well painted one at that, screw up or not. Although its totally out of place in this line, I'd definitely recommend trying to track Robin down. Jet Foil is at your own risk.

Retrograde Rewind: Smart Talk With Raisin

Surprise! I lied. One more post.  However, I won't be talking about an action figure. Or anything Batman, really. Instead I'll be talking about a short film I recently saw from all the way back from 1994. This film, of course, is "Smart Talk With Raisin."

"Smart Talk With Raisin" was a small animated short directed and produced by none other than John R. Dilworth,  the man behind the ever popular Courage the Cowardly Dog. It, along with several other animated shorts before and after it, premiered on January 30th 1994 on Liquid MTV. And my, does it have Mr. Dilworth written all over it.

In true style, it's weird, its surreal, off the wall, and definitely full of reminiscent visuals, if you have seen Courage. The plot focuses on a young girl, Raisin, and her delinquent brother, Malcolm,  watching their dog Hamilton (who is seemingly a precursor to Courage) perform a magic show. While Raisin is a supporter of Hamiltons magic show, (which, he has up to this point yet to perform), her brother Malcolm is a naysayer to the nth degree. Throughout the film, he continually discourages Hamilton, claiming he is not fit to be a magician, that he should just give it up. After Malcolm catches the recieving end of corporal punishment by his mother (for selling coupons at school), Raisin continues to support her dog as he finally performs his magic trick.

This, to me, is brilliant. Placing surrealism aside, I feel it's a basic example of a very clear message. No extra depth, just a cut and dry message. Don't let others get you down, regardless of the circumstances, for they are fearful of their own shortcomings. Malcolm obviously serves as "the negative influence" while Raisin served as well, really, the courage for her dog and his sense of self worth. Yeah, as weird as it is, it sets a very clear precident, and is John R. Dilworth simply saying, "hey, I wont stop from trying to reach my goal". Deep meaning aside, the film is also rather humorous, including some residuals present in Courage, such as bug eyes, crooked teeth and outright silly facial expressions. My theory? Raisin is the daughter of a young Muriel and Eustace.

Toy Examination: Top of the Class

I'll be covering 3 figures in this post!! And oh, these are all real winners. Just in case you still had faith in this line.

All hail Bruce Wayne's Custom Coupe! The most incredibly bland toy you'll ever recieve, second only to April O'Neils boss! Yes, in case you ever want to stop your crime fighting ways and live out the rest of your days driving your Coupe, this is the right toy for you. On one hand, I can understand "I was driving one day when suddenly Catwoman attacked, so I needed to get into the batsuit!". What I can't understand is the switch-immediately-to-batmobile feature. Bruce Wayne, who will go to great lengths to keep his double identity a secret, had a lapse in reason one day and decided that totally decking out his car with Batman-esque everything, and then deploying said feature on a busy highway with plenty of witnesses was the best idea he ever had in his entire life. "Is that Batman in Bruce Wayne's car?".

Penguin. Commandos. PENGUIN. COMMANDOS. Yknow, the one aspect of Batman Returns that nobody was really fond of? It's a toy. One that comes with mind control gear! (The package actually says that). Of all Batman Returns toys you would ever hope to get as a child, Penguin Commandos is not it. It's the exact opposite. I collect Batman figures and I don't even really want this one. If there's one redeeming quality of this toy it's once again the art on the box card. Check out that penguin. "Hail Cobblepot!"

Rather than an actual character, let's make them feel more like Batman with an accessory!  Like...yknow, Batman's....Spiral Shooter...? Out of every gadget Batmans ever carried his most famous just HAS to be the fabled spiral shooter. A classic if there ever was one. I don't know of any instance where Batman has needed or wanted to shoot a spiral at anything. Ever. Of course, the plastic ring around the "spiral" itself is for the safety of the kiddos, but...why have Batman use it in the box card art? "The Joker can't STAND plastic rings!"

Toy Examination: Power to the Player

You know what? Screw routine! I think I'll post as frequently as it holds my interest. So who's next? "We Put Random Junk In A Package" Batman? Yeah, pretty much.

Powerwing Batman. To be fair, this one does have a unique (for the moment) accessory, albiet a useless one. As the beautiful box card art shows us, Batman is intended to slide his little feet into a holder of sorts and powerwing his little heart out. There is a slighr problem with this. Batmans stance is only so wide, and certainly not enough to fit in with what the package describes. But hey! That's what happens when you repaint the same Batman mold and and bill it as a "new toy" over and over and over. Oh well, what can I expect.

Ye Who Enter Here...

Right, well. Considering this is my first post in a sea of never-ending blogs, I can't promise groundbreaking material, but I do hope to strike someones fancy, rather than post random information into the void of the internet. So, first things first, the first topic I'll be discussing (and one I'll be at for a while) is the wondrous Batman Returns toy line of days gone by. (You'll come to find that Batman is something of an obsession of mine). So, let's get started, shall we?

Short introductory paragraph! All throughout the 1990's toy company Kenner produced some of the best (and worst) Batman toys out there, with their motto being, "the more Batman the better". We'll be looking at some of the best...and worst.

First up on the chopping block (for today's post, anyway) is Thunderwhip Batman. Sassy. Kind of an unfitting name for such a dull figure. It's just a generic Batman toy with a couple of purple accessories. And how exactly does it pertain to "thunder" or "whips" for that matter? It's a giant batarang on the end of a stick and a....ninja...star? Not a terribly exciting figure and not Kenners most creative. This will become a trend. I also like how the action feature is touted as, "Turbo Weapon Spinning Arm". Someone please make that an actual move.