TMNT is a Dark, Dark Place.

Mirage Series:

-The purpose of the turtles in general. Their master raises them as nothing more than personal hitmen, and that inadvertently sent them to be superheroes. The fact that they realize and struggle with this in later stories is heartwrenching.

-Early on, Raphael showed less signs of bipolar disorder, but rather sociopathic behavior. Take for example that after losing a sparring match, he nearly beats Michaelangelo, his brother, to death with a wrench. Made even worse when it's clear he's the strongest of his brothers physically

-In the first issue, take into account the turtles, still very young, murder a man they've never met in cold blood because of their master's blood feud

-Michaelangelo has some severely disturbing dreams throughout the mirage series, one of which has him dreaming that a demon tears his heart out. They make a point to show this explicitly.

-On the theme of disturbed turtles, Donatello exhibited some very worrysome behavior in later arcs. It's revealed that for years, Donatello salvaged and kept the remains of Baxter Stockman, performing experiments on it and even at one point sacrificing a dog for the sake of science. A. Dog.

-Rat Kings entire existence, and soon after, his death. After a battle with Leonardo, Rat King is filled full of shuriken, and drops to the bottom of a siloh.

-The aftermath of that as well. When Splinter is left to die at the bottom of the very same siloh, Rat King appears before him, reminiscing his existence, and even convinces Splinter to eat rats. Later Splinter removes piles of filth to reveal Rat King's decayed corpse, meaning a hallucination drove him to cannibalism.

-One heartbreaking example is the entire situation concerning Casey Jones and his love life. April leaves him and goes out west. Casey marries another woman and has a child with her, only to have her die in childbirth. With both loves gone, Casey is left a single father unable to hold a steady job

-Still on Casey, he at one point became an inadvertent child murderer. On a usual vigilante run, Casey is assaulted by two minors in a park. In defense, Casey hits one with his hockey stick in the back of the kids head, killing him instantly. Distraught, Casey flees. He's never caught, but the guilt he must've felt makes the situation almost unbearable.

-Raphael continued to have extremely violent tendencies throughout. He at one point admits that losing Michaelangelo would send him into an uncontrollable rage, meaning any and everyone within his radius would likely suffer a very unfortunate fate.

-Definitely the most notorious of the Ninja Turtles plot points, the entire situation concerning April as a cartoon is nonsensical and disturbing. She learns she's not a human being, but rather a drawing created with a magic pen by legendary comic author Jack Kirby. She's sent back in time, as a cockroach, and is explicitly said to engage in cockroach activities, including sex. Yes, sex.

-The concept of the Shredder dying, and coming back as a literal mass of worms and flesh haphazardly thrown together. Also, when Leonardo decapitates the Shredder without a second thought is reminiscent of their first encounter.

1987 Cartoon-

-Baxter Stockman makes this list again, as his plight as Shredders virtual slave is tragic. Moments before death, he's mutated into a monstrosity with little to no thought process.

-Beebop and Rocksteady can also fit into this category. They seem to be unaware that they were once human.

-Take any time April is in mortal danger as an example. Perhaps the most distressing example is when she's suffocating to death, saved mere moments before she would have surely met her fate. A chilling and all too real example.

-Despite his brief appearance, Casey Jones is very clearly a mentally disturbed man, as it's pretty clear the line between fantasy and reality to him are blurred. (The man did, in fact, smash to pieces an entire kitchen's worth of appliences with prejudice...and in sincerity.)

-Michaelangelo nearly being melted to death....on his birthday.

-Yes, the series did attempt to recreate the success of Batman: The Animated Series with a dark tone in later seasons, but it did succeed in creating shocking moments. Early into one episode, the Shredder takes temporary status as a truly cruel villain. Without any announcement or provocation, he blows the Channel 6 news building sky high....with countless inside. As a warning.

-It's uncountable the amount of times the Turtles have inadvertently killed villains through wacky shenanigans.

Archie Comics (TMNT Adventures):

-Michaelangelo is kidnapped and tortured by the government. This goes on for a painfully long time, with Michaelangelo begging them to stop before he's rescued by Leonardo and Donatello.

-At one point the turtles meet and team up with a future version of Raphael, who in his own time lost not only his brothers but his left eye. He proves to be one of the darker characters in the series.

-Once again on Raphael, he showed a surprising level of violence when he shot his one time ally, Verminator, point blank, on purpose. Topped off with an unsettling comment about how he never bluffs.

-The death of mighty superhero team and allies of the Turtles, the Mutanimals. While the turtles are preoccupied, the Mutanimals are cornered and mercilessly gunned down by robot sentries. The comic even shows the turtles discovering their bodies piled up and surrounded by blood.

-Regarding the above entry, later TMNT issues elaborate that not only did the Mutanimals STAY dead, but are currently in hell. Yeesh.

-Perhaps the most disturbing entry to this series, at one point the turtles time travel, and visit WW2 Germany. The turtles find none other than Hitler, hiding in his bunker. After delivering a very brutal and severe beatdown, Leonardo literally convinces Hitler to take his own life. In a comic for children.

-Slash, the further mutated 5th turtle from another dimension, ends up giving his life to save the turtles and crew. He's able to accomplish this by hurling himself and his spacecraft into the sun.

IMAGE comics: (warning: this one is hard to sit through)

-Several tragedies happened in the very first issue. On Dons birthday, the sewers are invaded by the Foot. Donnie boy himself is shot point blank, the other turtles are badly beaten, and half of Raphaels face is disfigured when he recieves the brunt of a blast.

-Due to this, Raphael often wore some of Casey's masks to hide his scars.

-Leonardo also ends up losing one of his hands to a monster.

-Splinter, perhaps the only person they know capable of completely understanding of them, is turned into a monstrous Man Bat knockoff incapable of rational thought. Take one good guess as to who has to stop him.

-Poor Donatello. He is the worst treated in this entire series. He's shot point blank on his birthday, held captive by the Foot, is dropped thousands of feet out of a helicopter, PARALYZED, left for dead by his brothers, and his only option to stay alive is enhance himself with mechanical parts containing an evil computer system capable of overriding his mind.

-Raph pulls a smart move when he dons the Shredders armor in order to intimidate the remaining foot clan. It works, but it's no less startling to see Raph seemingly switch sides.

2k3 Cartoon:

-The episode "Same as It Never Was" has Don find his way to an alternate dimension in which his brothers fall at Shredders hands. Relatively cliche, but still no less traumatic.

-Stockmans treatment at the hands of Shredder. It's implied later that Shredder tortured and dismembered Stockman after his insolence, leading to his appearance is "Insane in the Membrane", in which he builds himself a new body, only to have it deteriorate and his mind slowly slip.

2k12 Cartoon:

-Donatellos dark side, with his almost stalkerish crush on April.

-Raphael continues what he does best and does some pretty brutal numbers on a few enemies.

-In the comic, Donatello was recently killed in a battle against Beebop and Rocksteady, when he recieved a crowbar to the shell. Made even worse twice: Metalhead attempted to assist Donnie in battle, but to no avail. It's possible to say Metalhead didn't fight AS hard, as he being a robot didn't understand the implication of Donnie's impending doom. Second, being found by his brothers, and cradled by his master is almost too much to bear.


Michael Bay film:

-Everything about this film is horrifying on some level.

A Special Post and a Certain Youtuber

A Personal Message for those Who've  Read Here Before:

I won't lie to you. I have no reason to. I've been gone for so long and havent posted anything because my life bottomed out hard. I was doing things i had no business doing with people I had no business doing it with. So for that, I'm sorry. You, as a reader, dont deserve abandonment, and I am deeply hurt that I had to be away for so long. So, if you'd forgive and forget, that would mean the world, for I'm on the road to recovery.

I'd also like to take time to talk about a certain youtube personality, one that kept me from the brink. I'm talking about Markiplier, and through his silliness and shenanigans, I realized that there was hope after all. Now, I'm not asking you to try and get it to him, nor am I reaching for sympathy.  I wanted to apologize for not providing to you the content that I love to provide to you, or any stray person who comes across it. That being said, I stay busy, but I will not do this again. We will all get back to fart jokes, ninjas, little blue robot boys and everything else this blogs about pretty soon :) Also, I'll start posting art of mine if you'd all like, I'd be more than happy to

Tyler (This blogs devilishly handsome writer.)

Marvel vs Capcom: The fighter that got away

One of my favorite arcade games to whoop ass and prove superiority at was Marvel vs Capcom,  which had to be played every time a cabinet was spotted. I remember my favorite team was Mega Man and Morrigan, and many a good day was spent sending my friends away, their pride slightly hurt. Oh well. Anyways, what's bothered me is the fact that the first, Origins excluded, have all but faded into obscurity, given you'd have to download an emulator (good luck finding one that works. Looking at you, MAME) or seriously finding a dreamcast for a perfect arcade port of the first 2.

Why is it that it is so hard to have a comfortable experience playing such a good game? You have it all: Capcom, 90's gaming juggernaut (ha!) and Marvel, who along with DC, were the premiere comics of the day. If all this is available to you in a perfectly packaged, colorful, fun fighting game, why HASNT it seen more recent releases?? It had tight controls, really pretty sprites, and satisfying gameplay, and a decent amount of characters. What's not to like?

I remember the games didnt have a concrete story exactly....something about Professor Xavier combining with Magneto to form a super villain...? (Like, why would he ever....) and in another game, M. Bison teamed up with Magneto. One thing that I do remember is that certain characters have neat interactions, like pictured above, when Mega Man and company join the Nova Corps, or Wolverine tracking down Akuma to find out information about his past. All in all, id have preferred an overarching story with these neat tidbits, but we aren't given a whole lot. Also, technically, Strider Hiryu is statistically the beat fighter there.....check out the death battle featuring him, where he fights Ryu from Ninja Gaiden. Seriously, the guy is nearly unstoppable

The Protomen: A true example of excellent fan service

I'm back, though I wont be as frequent as usual. I've been slammed with ridiculous work hours. Anyways, thats none of your business. I'll be doing a quick post on a band I recently picked back up, The Protomen, who do an amazing thing for this world. They've somehow made Mega Man even MORE awesome, and turned a reworking of the story into a phenomenal and emotional rock opera.

The first album, simply entitled The Protomen, tells the story of a distopian future in which Dr. Wily uses his robots (the six from the first game) to rule the city with an iron fist. Dr. Light, alone and a broken man, builds Proto Man in the hopes that he will bring down Wily's tyrannical rule. Proto Man, despite getting close, does not succeed, and is destroyed by the robot masters. To add fuel to the fire, the residents gather to watch Proto Man fall, as its explained, "they don't want a hero, they want a martyr, another statue to raise". Dr. Light then builds Mega Man, not to fight, but to assist him. Against his wishes, Mega Man takes to destroying Wily's army to avenge his fallen brother. Its emotional, its dramatic, its bleak and most certainly a nice, neatly woven tale. It's like Mega Man meets 1984.

The second album, Father of Death, serves as a prequel, detailing Dr. Wilys corruption, the death of Dr. Light's love, Emily, and the establishment of Wily's empire. All in all, its still a great album, albiet much lighter of a sound than the album before it, which had a very dark, grungy "dirty" sound to it. If you like Mega Man, or the novel 1984, or both, then definitely give them a listen. They weave a gripping story seamlessly with catchy music, and is something I would most certainly see in concert.

NECA NES figures

I've recently become aware of these figures made by powerhouse NECA, who always holds a place in my mind as a great toy producer regardless. For this line, they take some prominent figures from classic NES titles (that weren't Mario or Link, we're talking those sweet, sweet licensed characters) and simply recolored the figures to more closely resemble their in-game NES counterparts. You know what that means: bright, garish colors, oh yeah!

These prominently colorful figures are Batman, the purple crusader (pictured above), Robocop and Predator the "blue" brothers, "Thermal vision" Arnold Schwarzenegger, Freddy Krueger the red and caramel wonder, and Jason Voorhees, the blue and seafoam green.....other wonder. These figures are amazingly multicolored, and really DO look like they hopped out of their respective NES games. My personal favorites are Batman and Freddy, mostly because they are the most brightly colored, aside from Arnie. Every one of them looks highly detailed and come with nice accessories (Freddy's is kind of just attached to him anyways).

Before I start, I must say that looking at them standing next to each other looks like they just wandered off the set of a Double Dragon movie. They look like an absolute blast, to pose or to play with. Every one of those figures would look magnificent on a shelf, and you can bet your bottom I will definitely pick at least one up. For some reason it seems, with the exception of Freddy, several figures seem to carry a dark blue, such as Jason, Robocop, and Predator (Batman only has a bit of lighter blue, but is mostly purple). Either way, they are all amazingly detailed, amazingly poseable, and worth a look if you have the cash. I'd wall jump for any of these bad boys.

                         
                              FOR 8-BIT GOTHAAAAAAAAAAM!

Mega Man 2 vs. Mega Man 3

Another of my many obsessions is the Mega Man classic series. Being a fan, every now and again searching the internet for fan communities, have come across a fierce debate that seems to defy fans worldwide. That debate would be Mega Man 2 vs. Mega Man 3. Both are NES classics, no doubt, but which truly deserves the most admiration of the fans? To determine that, we'll be seperating it into a few categories to find out who has the edge. Those categories will be: Difficulty, Level Design, Boss Design, Character introduction and Weapons.

Difficulty: Mega Man 2

Mega Man 2 was of the age where difficulty was there, and man was it tough, but it wasn't impossible. It made you really work for it, and your success hinged entirely on how bad you wanted it. When you finally did win, it served as a positive reinforcement loop. You wanted to keep going. Mega Man 3, however, didn't have that. It didn't let you choose between normal or difficult. It wasn't nearly as hard as 2, meaning it felt more like a breeze. You plowed through the game like it was nothing, and it wasn't enough of a challenge to want you to keep going. Japan must've figured American kiddies were too impatient.

Character Introduction: Mega Man 3

While 2 had some interesting enemies, 3 ultimately wins in the category of introducing new and exciting characters. They introduced Proto Man, a highly interesting and mysterious character that kept you guessing, and Rush, Mega Man's faithful dog sidekick that proved very useful. Both felt like welcome additions to the series and added a fuller cast to the game. Mega Man 2 felt bare in comparison to the cast of colorful supporting characters in 3.

Boss Design: Mega Man 2

Mega Man 2 far and above has more memorable bosses than 3. Yes, also rather silly (Wood Man), but there was just something about the ensemble of Mega Man 2s bosses that felt fresh, varied, interesting and quite intimidating. The likes of Quick Man, Metal Man and Crash Man remain in my mind as some of the coolest bosses in all of video games. 3, on the other hand, delved even further into ridiculousness with bosses such as Top Man, Snake Man and...sigh....Hard Man. Those bosses didn't feel as conpelling, not nearly as interesting, and never stuck in my memory. They were kind of...there. They felt more like a nuisance than anything.

Level Design: Tie


This one is so hard to nitpick at, I can't help but simply tie them. The level design in both are just so masterfully crafted that its truly a shining example of how side scrollers SHOULD be designed. They are creative, challenging and force you to think a little, and all that shines through. So in this category, both games have outstanding level design, so they tie.

Weapon Design: Mega Man 2

YES, I REALIZE THE METAL BLADE IS BROKEN. But, it's not as effective as you've been led to believe. Out of every robot master in 2 only Metal Man, Flash Man, Wood Man and Bubble Man are weak against it. Only half!! Every other robot master is immune. That aside, 2 had better balance of its weapons, as every one of them was extremely important and useful throughout the entire game. In 3, you just had to rely on three: Hard Knuckle, Shadow Blade and Top Spin (which sucked regardless.) Every other one in 3 was either too unweildy to be practical (Gemini Laser) or was just plain useless (Search Snake). In 2, you were left no choice but to utilize every weapon in your arsenal.


WINNER: Mega Man 2.

It was close, but yes, the hype is true. Mega Man 2 is truly the superior game. 3 has its perks, but is ultimately bland compared to the masterpiece that is 2. The bosses, weapons, difficulty and everything else in 2 were all perfectly fine tuned to give a great, memorable gameplay experience, and excels in areas where 3 fell flat on its face. So there you have it.

Quick Fire Review: Batman: Assault on Arkham

Relatively short post. Just going tobmake a short review of the newest DCAU film, Batman: Assault on Arkham. Picked up the Blu Ray, and honestly, very glad I did.

The movie focuses around the ragtag team of Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Killer Frost, Captain Boomerang, Black Spider and King Shark, otherwise known as "The Suicide Squad" breaking into Arkham at the request of Amanda Waller in order to take out Riddler (who stole Wallers highly important files). A very risky and high stakes mission, especially when Batman is on your trail and The Joker is running amok. Just a warning, I will be dropping LOTS of spoilers. So if you want to watch it and haven't yet, LEAVE THIS REVIEW IMMEDIATELY!!! It's a very well put together film, as the narrative is tight, it's action packed to the brim and the banter between the Suicide Squad is an absolute joy to watch. King Shark is the loveable idiot, Deadshot is the straight laced team leader, Killer Frost and Captain Boomerang crack wise frequently (in Frosts case, of the sarcastic variey), Black Spider is the most serious and reserved of the team, and Harley is well......Harley. It plays out very much like a Guy Ritchie movie, what with the hiests and all, and I like it alot. Its highly clever and keeps you on the edge of the seat, and never once was it boring. The fights are heart-pounding and very well coreographed, and the voice acting is top notch. Also, when they said "Suicide Squad", they were not kidding. This is a very very violent movie, with multiple death's of several protagonists. A pivotal point of the film is that Amanda Waller placed exploding chips in their necks and if they disobey her orders, boom. Dead. KGBeast, another villain who's barely seen, gets his own damn head blown of like, right at the start of the film, because he tested Amanda Waller. Toward the end of the movie, the same fate befalls both Black Spider and King Shark. Y'see, The Riddler (working with the Suicide Squad, and in return he keeps his life) sends volts of electricity through their heads in an attempt to fry the bombs in their necks. It works on most....except King Shark and Black Spider. King Shark's skin was too thick, apparently, so when Amanda Waller got pissed that she was being double crossed and hit the big red button, everyone else remained in tact and King Shark went boom. Black Spider wasn't even with them, as he was on the recieving end of a beating from Batman (who cleverly tricked the Suicide Squad by wearing Black Spider's costume) so when Waller hit the button he went boom too. Quite graphically. The Joker is just as diabolically funny as ever, and he frees Arkhams inmates (Bane and Poison Ivy wreck alot of stuff). He gets in a brutal fight with Deadshot (who was Harleys "new guy") leading to his "death". Psssst he's not dead. Killer Frost bites it (Ha! Frost Bite!!) when Bane throws the car she's attempting to escape in into the side of a rocky cliff. Ouch. Seriously, the only three Suicide Squad members that survive are Deadshot, Captain Boomerang and Harley. Hell, even Amanda Waller buys the farm in a hilarious twist when Deadshot snipes her (and cleverly says "bang"). Thats not counting the countless guards, police and prisoners that all go to that great national park in the sky. Yep, totally a Guy Ritchie movie.

All in all, a REALLY good movie that explains why a majority of these characters don't show up in later Arkham games, and this movie ties together quite nicely the events in between Origins and Asylum, leaving us with yet another incredible Arkham-related entry that better fleshes out the ever popular "Arkham-verse". Well worth a buy. Really. Go get it. Now, or I'll detonate the explosive in your necks.