When the scene opens we're shown a girl as she prepares to cook...but its soon revealed that she, in true horror style, has a little boy trapped in a cell, planning to fatten him with cookies and cook him. He mentions a book she gave him, and while she preps she allows the boy to read three stories to her (allowing him to find a way the hell out of there). They are, as follows:
Lot 429- A strange college student orders a priceless mummy artifact, much to the dismay of his dorm mates. There is a side plot of him being cheated out of a committee, but it goes nowhere when he recites an incantation that makes the mummy come to life. Much, much different than the show, this movie is very heavy on gore. We see this when the mummy takes a coathanger and bends it out, pins his dorm mate to the wall, and pulls the mans fucking brains out through his nose. Yyyyyeah. The sister of the remaining male dormmate also get whacked in a gruesome fashion, and the remaining mate takes things a step too far by tying up the original guy (who ordered the mummy) and threatening to kill him because he killed his best friend and sister. Once he discovers it's the mummy, it looks like it's curtains, but he kills the beast. He decides to let his mate go, on one condition: he bring his sister and friend back to life. And so he does! But he makes them kill the guy who tied him up.
Thiiiis portion was not too shabby, there are definitely a few startling scares here and there. Some acting may be a tad left field, but ultimately a nice tale.
(We cut back to the boy, desperate, as he convinces the woman to let him read her another story.)
The Cat From Hell- An old rich man hires a hitman...to kill his cat. That sounds senile, but as you'd expect, this cat is capable of far more than meets the eye. The old man leaves, and the hitman tauntingly mocks the cat. The tide changes, (and the start of this episodes reliance on gore) when the cat begins to win. Furious, bleeding and with the crotch of his pants bitten out, the hitman begins to flail violently to hit the cat. The cat THEN does something quite....horrifying. It literally crawls down the man's throat. We see this painful scene in gruesome detail. The old man comes back, finds the hitman dead, and the cat kills him. The end.
I'd say this was the weakest of the three, not in believability but with it's over reliance on gore. There are plenty of bloody moments that merely show off what the cat is capable of, playing absolutely nothing of the potential psychological horror. Entertaining, but not the best.
(The woman, impatient, makes the remark that she always enjoyed love stories the most. The boy takes this opportunity to read her one.)
The Wraparound Story- A struggling artist is dropped by his agent, and spends his night drinking at a local bar. He and the bartender walk out back, when a large demon swoops down, and kills the bartender in gruesome fashion (half of the guy's face and his hand were missing). The demon then tells the artist he must speak of this to nobody, and in exchange, he keeps his life. Terrified, the man runs into a woman on the way back. Afraid the demon will get her, he urges her to come with him, which she does. The two find they take a liking to each other, and they fall in love. They get married, have two kids, and 10 years later everything seems like it's smooth sailing. One night, the man feels enough time has passed and decides to tell his wife about the night he saw the demon. Taken aback, she walks over to the window and cries out, "You PROMISED not to tell!!!!!" That's right, SHE'S really the demon, and with a gruesome transformation, she kills him after all these years.
THIS story hit me with a twist like a bat out of hell. We all knew he'd slip up at some point, but we didn't expect that. We're even lead to believe she's going to find out when she finds an old drawing of his that was the demon. This episode had some awkward portions, like when the first met, but the story itself, not to mention the simply AWESOME creature puppet they had were what made this the best by far.
(The little boy, about to be cooked, tells one last story, his own story. As he's telling it, he throws marbles to the floor. This trips the woman, and he manages to escape. Oh....and he's a major asshole, because he pushes HER in the oven. On top of that, while shes literally fucking BURNING ALIVE, he takes another cookie and says, "Gotta Love a happy ending!". You little smarmy asshole.)
And there it was, the darker, more violent and over the top movie presentation of Tales From the Darkside. Now, if you've never seen the show but only the movie, they should almost be in two seperate categories because they are in TOTALLY different realms. Theyre both good, and succeed, but you couldve titled this movie ANYTHING and it would've worked. Not bad, overall.
Grade: 6.5/10
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